


Damage Control

by RedsLizzie



Category: The Blacklist (TV)
Genre: F/M, Family, Hurt/Comfort, Lizzington - Freeform, Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-06-06
Updated: 2016-10-23
Packaged: 2018-07-12 15:35:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 8,178
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7111951
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RedsLizzie/pseuds/RedsLizzie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Red saves Elizabeth and takes her somewhere safe. She learns one of Reds most well hidden secrets.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Hi, this is my first fanfic in months. I love Red and Liz together and after the brutal second half of season 3 I want to write something happy. The story will at some point change its rating and it's Lizzington even if the first chapter doesn't seem like it. You can trust me more than Jon Bokenkamp with these characters.

PS. This is a Tom Keen free story. We have had enough of him anyways.

PPS. Reviews are welcome. You don't have to leave one but I'd appreciate it. English is not my first language. Sorry for any mistakes in advance.

I do not own the show or its characters.

_______________

Reds eyes lingered on the road ahead instead of the woman sitting next to him. To painful it would be to stare at her after she'd chosen to betray him so brutally. He remembered how he clung to her, her motionless hand pressed against his cheek, caressing him in a way he had never experienced it before. His lips pressed against her soft skin, her eyebrows, her eyelids, then her cheek. He remembered Kate calling him to come out of the ambulance, and with one last brush with the tip of his nose, he was gone. Nobody could fathom what he went through. Despair, sadness, suicidal thoughts crossed his mind and invaded his soul until -

His palms embraced Kates scared face. How could she? How could they put him through this? He barely came to terms with Elizabeth being dead, so how is he supposed to deal with ... with this?

The answer is he couldn't. There wasn't time since he was looking for Agnes and Lizzie. He almost died if it weren't for the woman who despised him.

As the cold metal slid past his lips and he was prepared to die. There was no meaning for him to stay on earth when nearly everybody he held dear hated him. A trigger was pulled, the sound ringing in his ears, the smell of metal so very clear in his nose but he was alive and when he opened his eyes she was hovering over him, the concern apparent in her features. She looked like an angel and if he didn't know better, he would have sworn he had died.

For the first time in weeks they were together now, with Agnes sleeping peacefully in the backseat. Dembe found her somewhere in the city. Tom must have left in a hurry, leaving his child alone in the cold night. Men like Tom never change, of that Red was sure and Tom's actions proved it.

Lizzie didn't speak to him, nor did he say much to her. She quietly followed him on his plane and in the car that was waiting for them when they arrived in Sierra Leone. He didn't know where to start and it wasn't his decision to start a conversation, and so the elephant in the room grew bigger. His intent was to keep her safe and he decided to take her to a place he loved, a place he almost considered home.

His eyes were focused on the rear view mirror every now and then. He wasn't sure whether it was to keep a look on Agnes or to ignore Lizzie who was absently stroking the scar on her wrist. He gripped the wheel tighter and only relaxed when he felt a sting of pain in his fingers.

Her question, when it came, shouldn't have surprised him and yet he nearly jumped at the sound of her voice. "Where are we going?"

His jaw worked in circles as and he felt apprehensive. The place that provided her with safety was also a place that held his closest secret. Her voice was quiet, the uncertainty audible. She would find out anyway but he didn't want to talk to her now. He couldn't.

"To a small village." He gazed briefly to her. Her eyes were damp and she turned her head, watching the landscape. "You'll be safe, Lizzie. You and Agnes."

"Thank you."

He nodded sharply and tried, really tried, to say something in return but it seemed as if his voice wouldn't want to cooperate. Instead he saw lights flicker at the end of the road. This town was his touchstone, an anchor. When on the run with Lizzie, he thought of bringing her there but it would have been to dangerous.

Not for her but for the others.

Now he had to bring her there even if he didn't really want to.

He loved her still. She was his heart and his life but the blatant rejection by faking her death hurt way more. She didn't want him in her life, she just needed him. This would have been enough for him in the past, but it wasn't enough for him now. He wanted more, wanted something in a way he knew he would never have.

Her fingertips traced the puckered flesh of her scar as Red drove the car into town. She was irritated by the recent events. So much had happened after she had been exonerated. She became a mother, left her friends, betrayed the very person who did everything in his power to protect her, she almost married too. Deep down she knew Red was right when he told her not to go through with the wedding but she wanted so desperately to have a family. She told herself it would be the best for her baby girl but she couldn't have been more wrong.

She wanted it for herself.

How selfish she had been.

It was plain obvious how deeply her betrayal affected Red. Gone was the warmth when he looked at her, replaced by a look of disdain that made her insides curl. She was hurting too but knew she shouldn't feel that way.

Her mind ran wild with explanations about why she did it, she wanted answers from him, she wanted answers from Tom.

She shot the man who claimed to be her father, the person she thought she had murdered at such a young age.

She turned when Red parked the car in front of a house. It didn't look like his usual safe house. It was surrounded by a white picket fence and was relatively small in comparison to the mansions he used to own. He silently exited the vehicle and grabbed their luggage from the trunk when a woman opened the front door. Her eyes followed Red as he walked towards the brown haired female and greeted her with a hug and two kisses to each cheek.

Was she supposed to stay with a person she didn't know?

Liz narrowed her eyes in order to adjust to the darkness as the woman peaked over Reds shoulder to look at her. Reds hands flew through the air while he spoke. She felt as if she was an intruder so she turned away, watching her daughter sleep. Agnes seemed so peaceful and unaware of what she went through. She didn't want to take away her childhood, she wanted her to have a normal life.

"Elizabeth.", Red said gently as he opened the passenger door. "We can stay here for awhile."

"Oh, okay." Quickly stepping out and picking up Agnes, she followed him inside the house. The interior confirmed what she had already suspected when she first saw the suburban house.

It appeared so normal.

Red lead her to the living room. She noticed toys and a stuff bear lying on the floor as she rounded the coffee table. Under different circumstances she would have asked Red about this place but she felt uncertain on how to act around him. He only talked to her when he had to. There were no stories to tell anymore and she understood but the truth was, she missed it.

"Please, take a seat, Elizabeth."

She silently did what she was told and smiled when Agnes mewled a little. Grabbing her mother's finger, the infant drew the fingertip into her mouth and sucked on it.

Damn, she didn't nurse and they hadn't had the time to get formula.

She was a terrible mother.

Reds mouth turned upwards at the sight before him. He palmed off his hat and shrugged out of his jacket.

"I - I don't have any formula. God, I forgot it.", she mumbled, panic audible in her voice.

"We have everything she needs. I hope you don't mind another child around here. He's around a year older than Agnes.", Red asked as the walked around the kitchen and prepared a bottle for Agnes. Preparing formula was something he knew by heart as the last time he did this hadn't been a long time ago.

"No, no, I can't tell you how grateful I am for your help, Red.", came her assuring reply. She observed him closely while he worked in the kitchen with ease. He knew this place, that was certain, and he shared this place with a woman and a one year old boy. We're they -

"Dada!"

Her head whirled around at the sound coming from the stairs and she faced an excited toddler in the arms of his mother.

"Mommy, down! Dada!"

"I'm sorry, Ray. He's heard you and couldn't wait.", the woman said with an apologetic smile as she put the child down so he was standing on his feet while she held on his tiny hand.

"It's fine.", Red said and kneeled down, holding out his arms.

Liz didn't know where to look first. Red was a father and he was smiling warmly at the boy who padded towards him on wobbly feet. She shouldn't see this, she shouldn't even be here and witness such an intimate moment but she couldn't tear her eyes away from the boy. He had straight blonde hair, chubby cheeks and the smile from his dad. He was undoubtedly a Reddington.

"Dada, walking.", the boy said with a laugh but stumbled immediately after the words left his mouth. Red looked concerned for a second but motivated him to try again. He gathered the child in his arms and pressed him tightly to his chest, telling him how proud and happy he was to see him again.

"Hey, I want you to meet someone.", Red said eagerly and grabbed the bottle for Agnes from the counter.

He handed Liz the milk. "Benjamin, this is Elizabeth.", he told him softly. "She will stay with us for awhile. How does that sound?"

The boy clapped his hands and beamed at Liz who was feeding Agnes but her eyes were solely laid on Benjamin and Red.

"Baby! Wanna look.", Ben pushed and pointed at Agnes who squirmed in her mother's arms.

"Benjamin, try to be quieter!" His mother interfered and stroked tenderly through the hair of the protesting child before smiling down at Liz. "Hi Elizabeth, I'm Sophie."

Sophie, Benjamin and Red. She needed time to process this, because right now her head was about to explode.

"Hi. Um, thank you for letting us stay.", she said with a small smile.

"You're welcome. Ray called today. There's a guest room with a travel crib for your little one. I've got you diapers, formula and Ben's old onesies. Most of them are blue and not pink but I hope that doesn't bother you."

"Thank you." She didn't know how often she had said these words today but this was all too overwhelming and when the tears sprung in her eyes, she couldn't stop them from spilling over. He did all this for her and she felt undeserving for any of it. Maybe he was only doing it for Agnes. She wouldn't know, because he refused to talk to her.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Red offers Liz help/ Sophie and Liz share a conversation that makes Liz realize what faking her death has caused.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer : I own nothing

"Hey Ben, why don't you go upstairs with Mommy and I will join you both shortly for a bedtime story?", Red coaxed when he saw Liz cry. He understood how devastated she was and it wasn't something to be seen for Sophie and Benjamin. The news along with the stress she was under must have been too much for her.

Ben protested when he was taken away from him. Sophie smiled in sympathy and bid her goodnight before ascending the stairs. Red sat down in the armchair nearest from her and sighted, his thumb rubbing over his temple.

"I'm sorry, I'm just - ", she trailed off and watched Agnes who had just finished her bottle. Cradling the baby, she gently patted her back.

"I understand that I am the last person you want to spend time with but this is the safest place for you and Agnes until we have figured out how to proceed." He crossed one leg over the other and loosened the tie.

"How to proceed..."she repeated. "I don't know how."

"You have a few options, Elizabeth. I can provide you and Agnes with an identity and you're free to choose where to go, or you will stay in this village. The next town is miles away and I hold control over the airspace. Everyone who wants to come here does so only after they went through a thorough background check."

Agnes fell back asleep and Liz put her onto the couch, grazing her cheek with her knuckles. Reds words sounded promising but what if he failed again? She didn't deserve his help but she couldn't do it alone either. Her daughter let out a little sight now that she was stuffed and satisfied. She would do everything for her.

"I think it should be better to give her up for adoption. She will never be safe.", she said while never taking her eyes from her child.

"Neither will the adoptive parents. Think about it, Elizabeth. No matter how hard you try to protect her from the truth, it will eventually come out and it will be a lot more difficult to protect her from afar." He stressed, his elbows resting on his thighs. "You don't want to give her up and you don't have to."

"You know so many people, Red. Isn't there a trustworthy couple who would want to adopt a baby? I could see her every few months." From what he suspected it was what Red was doing so why couldn't she do that too?

"Would it be enough for you?", he asked softly.

"Is it for you?"

His lips parted but he didn't answer for several moments. He seemed bewildered and shook his head. "It is not. Benjamin was born two weeks before you shot the Attorney General. I was there when he was born and left 3 days after. I was shot, we went on the run for 3 months and only then I came here again. I missed his first smile, his first word, and his first steps. If I were you I would try everything in my power to stay with my child. I can tell you from personal experience that every few months won't be enough, Elizabeth."

She listened and realized what he has sacrificed for her but why? He had a family and chose to help her instead of being with the people who needed him more than her. Nodding weakly, she accepted what he said. Of course he would be right. Leaving Agnes with strangers wasn't an option. She wanted to witness her daughters milestones, each one of those.

She knew she had no right to know but her curiosity got the best of her. "Why didn't you say anything? If I had known that your son was born I would have never asked for your help."

He stared at her, his piercing gaze boring holes into hers. "I told you once I will always do whatever I feel I have to do to keep you alive and I'm a man of my word. Benjamin is well cared for. Sophie knows who I am and what I do for a living. She was prepared for such a situation."

Liz swallowed the lump in her throat, her lips pressed together in a thin line as she averted her gaze from his. "If we - I do this and stay here... This is Sierra Leone and not the US or Europe. I don't mean to appear rude but how is the medical care in this place or schools?"

"We do have a hospital as well as a school. Sophie's teaching literature and maths but we can have a field trip tomorrow if you'd like."

"I'd like that very much.", she smiled slightly. This was the first time they'd talked in months. When she arrived in Cuba the only thing she could think about were Agnes and Red. Red, not Tom. She had meant what she said before she left him.

She did love him even though she wasn't sure in what capacity. All she knew was that he left a void inside her that Tom couldn't fill. At night when she was alone she imagined that Red came for her instead of Tom, that he could give her and Agnes a safe place but it couldn't be. He represented danger and death, and she wanted neither for her child.

And yet he was the one who saved her.

"You should rest. Come, I show you your room."

Red opened the door to a spacious guest room with a crib for Agnes and a queen size bed placed in the middle. They bid each other goodnight and she watched him entering, what must have been Benjamin's, room.

Agnes diapers and clothes were quickly changed before she laid her down with one last kiss to the crown of her head. Elizabeth watched the heaving of her chest, her pouty mouth and wondered if Red was doing the same at the moment. Which story was he reading, would he wait until Benjamin was asleep or leave before?

Sleep didn't come fast. In fact she was tossing and turning in bed as she recalled each and every encounter she had had with Red after her exoneration. How had he felt when he watched her die. She gazed at the clock on the bedside table. 1.45 a.m

Groaning, she jumped out of bed and padded to the kitchen to find some water. She leaned against the counter and took a large sip, sighting in relief when the liquid cooled her down. Her hair clung to her head as she was sweating from overthinking too many things.

Sophie came into the room, stopping shortly in her tracks when she noticed Liz before going to the fridge. Her instinct to profile her came instantly. Benjamin's mother was around her age, the perfectly styled wavy brown hair hung now in every direction and her blue eyes formed into a thin line after she switched on the light. She didn't look like Reds usual partners, she wasn't a femme fatale but an ordinary woman in her thirties. Elizabeth was curious about the story Red and Sophie shared and wondered, against her will, what their current relationship was.

"Can't sleep either?", Sophie asked nonchalantly, closing the fridge.

"Not really." She shrugged. "I guess I need some time to calm down."

"I felt the same after Benjamin was born but the routine will come eventually. It's hard to raise a kid alone but you will figure it out quickly.", she said in an reassuring tone and explained, "Ray didn't tell me everything about your situation, just enough to let me know that Ben would be safe. I want him as safe but I'm sure you understand this."

Liz nodded in understanding and circled the glass in her hand. "Pretty much has happened. I don't know what my daughter wants when she's crying, I forgot to bring formula. I didn't plan to raise her alone, you know. I admire people who can."

"You will learn fast, because you must. Ray wasn't around for long so I was on my own. I don't blame him for not sticking around. I know he can't and that's okay."

"But he's here."

"Whenever he can.", she conceded. "What about Agnes' father? Why did he leave?"

Liz's head turned up, her eyes filling with moisture, but not because she missed Tom, she blamed herself for falling for him again. He left their girl somewhere on the street without looking back. "I don't know. Part of me hopes because something happened to him and he couldn't do anything but our history is complicated. It seems I don't really know what he's capable of."

"Don't get me wrong but if you can't rely on someone, you're better off without him.", she said. "My ex wasn't any better than yours. He isolated me from friends, I gave up my studies because of him and ended up in the hands of a pimp. That's what he was. My instinct told me not to trust him but he was a natural charmer. I couldn't resist.", she said regretfully and refilled their glasses.

"I'm sorry.", Liz said quietly. Some women make the same mistake over and over again. She remembered the case where these words were uttered. If only she weren't one of these people. Sophie seemed to have gotten out of this horrific circle. God, how could she have been so blind? "How did you get out of this?"

"Raymond.", came Sophie's simple answer. "I have lived this life for 3 years. I was 25 when I met him. He closed a deal with a friend of my ex and I was supposed to, uh, dance for him. That was a given for important associates. Unlike other men he refused and booked me for the night instead so we went to his hotel. We've had dinner together and talked. I told him how unhappy I am and he offered me a way out. I thought he'd expected sex as a reward of sorts but he didn't. We're friends ever since."

The ex FBI Agent dropped her head and recalled her conversation with Red earlier that evening. He offered her a way out as well and he succeeded in his attempt to hide Sophie from her past. She could stay there and begin a new life with Agnes. Sophie was a nice woman and Benjamin and Agnes could play together. In her minds eye she pictured what this life could be and she liked it. Maybe she could repair her relationship with Red too.

"I hope you don't mind me saying this but he had been devastated after your ... death. I have never seen him like this before. He wasn't the same anymore, seemed apathic and depressed. He didn't eat, barely talked. If you would really be dead, he'd be dead now, too. I don't know why you've done what you did but he's my friend and the father of my child. Please, do not ever put him through so much pain again."

"Our relationship is complicated - build up on half truths and danger. I knew it would affect him in a way but I never wanted to cause him harm. I've hoped Dembe would be there for him.", she explained in a breath, her eyes set down. It had never been her intend to put him in this situation but he was a fugitive and had enemies waiting in the shadows, ready to attack him where it hurt. But the truth was, she was a threat to him, to him and Agnes. She thought she could protect both when people believed her dead.

"If you really want him out of your life, you should tell him. Just don't give hope when there's nothing to hope for, okay.", she said in a pleading voice and patted her once on the shoulder before heading upstairs.

Liz watched her leave and released a shuddering sigh when Sophie was out of sight. She couldn't trust if Red had had suicidal thoughts since he didn't mentioned it but they hadn't really talked about it either. Many people were mourning her; the task force, Dembe and Red.

Red.

He could have been dead.

She had to put things right and it would start tomorrow.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Red and Liz enjoy a day with the kids.

Agnes continued to sleep through the night without any interruptions. Unlike her daughter, Elizabeth struggled to find any sleep and so she was glad when she heard Agnes becoming awake in the morning. Carefully, she cradled the girl in her arms and smoothed over her rosy cheek with the pad of her finger. She was truly a perfect baby. Her eyes sparkled back at her and she smiled, really smiled at her mother. It was the first time Liz experienced this and her heart fluttered of joy. Red was right, she couldn't give her up, because she would never tire of seeing her baby girl's smile and hearing her sighs.

She placed a loving kiss to her daughter's forehead before changing her diapers. She wasn't experienced but she managed and felt proud. No doubt she would make a good mother to Agnes. Sophie told her she would learn fast and that she would.

Changing into a camisole and a pair of comfortable leggings, she headed downstairs. Liz could hear Benjamin babbling and giggling in the kitchen as well as Reds deep baritone laughter. When she rounded the corner, she found the two of them sitting at the table as Red tried to feed his son with a spoon full of mashed banana.

"We're about to land.", Red announced joyfully and fed Benjamin the fruit. The boy clapped his hands and swallowed before bursting out laughing again when Red repeated the action.

This was yet another persona of the infamous Raymond Reddington and she couldn't deny that she was touched. He looked so carefree and comfortable. Gone was his suit and fedora, instead he wore a navy blue shirt and denim jeans and neither shoes, nor socks and she found herself staring at his bare feet below the table. She had never seen him like that, not even while they were on the run and the thought of that was stuck in her head until Agnes started to squirm and cry out in her arms.

"Good morning, Elizabeth."

Elizabeth, not Lizzie. A reminder of their strained relationship.

"Good morning." She still felt like an intruder who shouldn't be there. She wondered if he felt the same way.

"How did you sleep? Did Agnes keep you awake?"

"No, she slept through. I'm actually surprised.", she said as she reached for the formula and read the instructions. It was the first time she had to do this and Red seemed to read her mind, because she suddenly found him standing next to her.

"Here, let me help."

"No!"

This came out more forceful than intended and she cursed herself inwardly for her outburst but she needed to get this done alone, because she had nobody. It was only her and Agnes.

Red stood there, motionless before he took a step back, nodding in resignation. He returned to Benjamin and wiped off the remainders of breakfast from his sons cheeks before lifting him out of his high chair.

Agnes started to wriggle in her arms as an unsatisfied, strangled cry escaped her. Liz rocked her back and forth and made soothing noises to calm her down. "I'm sorry, Raymond. I didn't mean to upset you, it's just that I want to do it myself. I appreciate all you have done and risked for me but someday you won't be there, because you're needed here or god knows where.", she released a shuddered breath, looking down at Agnes. "I just want to be as independent as possible. I'm a single mother now."

Red set down Benjamin who wobbled over to a toy carpet nearby. She said she'd be a single mother. He slowly moved over to them and tilted his head so he could look Elizabeth in the eyes. Was she concerned that he didn't want to help her or did she want him out of her life?

"Elizabeth, you're still learning. You can accept any help, you can accept my help. I would love nothing more."

"Why would you do that after everything I did to you? You really don't have to do that.", she replied quietly.

"Because I care about you. Deal with that."

She acknowledged his reply with a humorous smile. There were still so many things unsaid between them but this moment felt like a good start. Meeting his eyes, she nodded and attempted to give him Agnes to hold.

He gently laid his arms around her tiny body and held out his finger which she immediately stuck into her mouth. "My, my, aren't we greedy? We'll make you something yummy now."

Liz followed his instructions although he was much more captivated by Agnes. The two seemed to be in a staring contest until Benjamin pulled on his pants. Apparently he wanted to watch Agnes again. Ben ran his hand carefully over her head and beamed at Red and then turned around to Liz.

"She hungry?"

"Yes, she is.", she answered sweetly and checked the temperature by pouring some of the milk onto her wrist before taking Agnes from Red again and started feeding her as she walked to the sofa. Benjamin followed them both eagerly. The boy seemed to be curious on what she was doing. It reminded her of Red if she was honest. "Do you want to feed her, Benjamin?"

Ben quickly crawled onto the couch and kneeled next to Liz and Agnes, nodding enthusiastically. She made some space so that he could sit on her lap and handed him the bottle which he took between both his hands. He was careful in his movements, in fact the blonde haired boy didn't move an inch. Agnes was suckling greedily and so some of the fluid ran down to her chin.

"Oh. Sorry!", he commented. Not wanting him to feel guilty she smiled at him and shook her head, telling him it's completely fine and that things like that happened.

Red watched the scene, the lines of his mouth turned upwards. It was truly a sight he wished he could see more often. He wanted to show Liz the city and an available house that would match her expectations. They would live close to Sophie and Benjamin and he would come to see them as often as possible. They would come out of it okay, he was sure of it.

Because she was worth it.

"Are you still up for a stroll, Elizabeth? We have just opened a school and there's a house I want to show you and Agnes."

"Sure. We can leave as soon as Agnes has finished."

"Me too, Dada?"

"Of course, tiny tots.", he answered and took two large steps towards his son and swept his fingers through his hair in adoration.

Tiny tots. Elizabeth's face lit up at his nickname. When Agnes had finished her meal, Liz waited until Red took Ben from her lap, and walked back and forth through the room while gently padding her back. She changed Agnes into an old onesie from Benjamin and met Red in the backyard. He was waiting for her and got the buggy for Agnes ready while Ben was sitting in another stroller. Together they walked down the small street, some of the citizens greeting Red as they passed them. He was treated like a hero and to those he probably was since he gave these people a permanent home. Red once stopped to talk to a younger woman who thanked him for being so generous. Usually Red was larger than life but he accepted it quietly and appeared almost shy.

The school Red financed was huge and technically on the newest standard. She was impressed to say the least and went back to his house with a positive feeling for the first time since she had arrived. Sure, it wasn't Washington but she felt safe and welcomed. At some point Benjamin wanted to walk himself so their walk back took a bit longer but Reds smile when he saw his son walk on wobbly feet was worth it and Agnes could sleep a bit longer as well.

Of course she noticed Reds occasional glances in her direction as if he was trying to read her expression. She wondered if he was nervous about her decision whether she wanted to stay there or not. Suddenly, and not far away from his house, he stopped and called after Ben to come back. They stood before a house a bit smaller than his own. It was surrounded by a fence as well and looked overall very similar to his. It also had a terrace at the front and when he gave her keys realization hit her.

"2 bedrooms, one bathroom and a living area with a kitchen. It doesn't have any furniture, yet so you can decorate it as you wish.", he told her and grabbed Ben's hand as he walked to the front door. "It has cameras installed at the front as well as in the backyard. There's space for a swing, pool or trampoline if you'd like that."

"Trampoline. Yes, dada!"

Red squeezed his son's hand in return and studied Liz's expression as they entered the house.

It was suburban, really, but she loved it in an instant. Most of all she could make it her own with no one interfering. This house would be her and Agnes' home. Her daughter would be growing into a girl at this place and playing in the backyard. Her joyful mood must have radiated off of her, because Red nudged her shoulder lightly, his smile as wide as hers in this moment.

"I take this as a yes?", he asked.

"Yes. Yes, we take it, Agnes and I. Thank you, Raymond."

"No, thank you, Elizabeth.", he replied sincerely, his eyes glistening with unshed tears. He would have never imagined to have her near him again and yet here they were. Gone was the term Reddington or Red. He was Raymond to her.

"I need some furniture though so we should probably get to your place so I can look for a nursery for my little princess.", she said in a lighthearted voice and stroked over Agnes' sleeping form. His emotions were similar to hers but she didn't want to have an outburst in front of the kids and Benjamin was starting to get bored and pulled on Reds hand to get his attention.

"Hungry, dada."

"He has your appetite." Liz smiled at Red and Ben.

"He does, yes, but his mother is a wonderful cook so it's kind of unsurprising that he enjoys meals as much as I do.", Red said and lifted the boy up and held him close to his chest. "Let's see what Mommy cooked, shall we? I've heard you have a thing for Broccoli, haven't you, Benny ?"

Ben snuffled in disgust and stuck out his tongue as an impulsive "Eww" escaped his lips which made both adults laugh out loud in delight.

"You have yet so much left to learn. I couldn't stand Broccoli either and see how I look now. Do you want to become a tummy as big as mine when you're older?", he asked playfully and tickled his belly which elicited a squeal from his child.

Liz and Red walked back and chatted over her different ideas for the house. He listened and gave advice when she asked for it but told her in the same breath that it was her choice to make. He didn't want to make her feel trapped again. Once they arrived, they were greeted by the smell of chicken. Agnes was wide awake and desperately crying out in frustration. Liz tried to sooth her by quietly humming but it was no use. Bending her head, she sniffed on her diapers and found the reason for her discomfort. "I go get her changed."

Red nodded as he helped Ben out of his shoes. "Alright, I'll prepare the bottle in the meantime."

Sophie smiled and kissed Ben softly while squeezing Reds shoulder. "Sounds like you've had a good day.", she said as soon as Liz was out of sight.

He haunched his shoulders but his expression gave him away. "She takes the house."

"Meaning you will spend most of your time there from now on?"

"Jealous if I'd do that?", he teased nonchalantly.

"Oh, come on Ray, this must be a wet dream of yours. Two women fighting over your attention but sorry to disappoint you, I don't feel anything in this regard. I'm actually relieved to have you out of the house over night, because your snoring is beyond disturbing.", she smirked. Red knew her humor so he didn't take anything she said personal. He bit the inside of his cheek and sat Ben into his high chair before warming up the formula.

"Funny, but I want to give Elizabeth the space she needs from me."

"What if she doesn't want any? Maybe she wants to rebuild your relationship?"

He looked up, instantly knowing that she knew something he didn't.

"Please do spill, did you talk to her?"

"Yes, and before you ask I also told her about your condition after she left.", came her simple reply while feeding Benjamin.

"You can't be serious? Why would you do that? You realize that she will blame herself for that, don't you?" He leaned onto the counter and clenched his jaw. This explained why they got along so smoothly. Elizabeth was treating him like a child, at least that was how he felt. She agreed to everything, acted differently, because he had her sympathy.

He didn't want sympathy though.

"Because she has to know that the decisions she's made have consequences. You almost got yourself killed. This is not just about you, Raymond but think for a minute how I would have felt if I had to tell Benjamin that you won't come here anymore?"

Closing his eyes, he drew a deep breath. Sophie was right in what she was saying but when he'd seen Elizabeth flatlining, he couldn't think of anything else. The universe was reduced to only her and him and suddenly she wasn't in it anymore. The pain he'd felt was unbearable but it didn't justify his actions in any way.

He stepped closer and sat down beside the mother of his child. Benjamin was conceived accidentally and in some sense Elizabeth played a part in that, too. He felt lonely and rejected when he'd found out that Liz had Tom chained up on that stupid boat and Sophie was there as a friend he could lean on but sometimes, when adults show their vulnerability, things happen and vulnerability mixed with alcohol leads to sex.

He would regret it if it wasn't for this beautiful creature sitting in the high chair.

"I'm sorry, I wasn't thinking clearly. I've promised to be there for you and my behavior in these last few months has been inexcusable.", he reached out and covered her hand with his, squeezing gently.

"I know how much she means to you and that you now have responsibilities you'd rather avoid but don't do such a stupid thing ever again or I'm gonna throw you into the ocean myself." The smile didn't quite reach her eyes and he knew that she was hurt, because he also knew that he was important to her.

"I'm truly grateful to have you in my life even though I don't deserve it."

"I don't want to hear any of that. You're a wonderful man and an even better father to Ben. Show her who you really are and the rest will come. She blames herself, because she has made a mistake. Give her a chance to make it up to you. Talk to her!" With that she stood up and gave him a chaste kiss on his cheek before lifting up Ben. "Time for bed, little man. Say goodnight to Daddy!"

"Kissie?"

Red beckoned him over and hugged him tightly to his chest, peppering his face with kisses and whispering words of adoration into his ear.

"Night dada. Love you."

"I love you, too.", he responded, his voice strained due to the heavy lump in his throat. He looked down, blinked, one, twice and then returned his gaze to Sophie who was watching him with a knowing gaze. "Just so you know, you both are a responsibility I hold dear. I would never leave you freely."

"Okay."

He breathed out and returned to the kitchen counter. Grabbing the bottle he went to the guestroom. The elephant in the room couldn't be avoided any longer. With the intention to talk it out, he knocked on her door.

To be continued.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Red & Liz grow closer

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't own anything and hope you enjoy. This ship needs some happiness.

Talking about personal matters had never been an easy task but speaking to Lizzie was an entirely different issue. Their relationship was complicated and even more than this, it was fractured. The rift between them was large and they were both stubborn people but someone had to make the first step towards recovery. When he entered her room that night, she was cradling Agnes, holding the little girl to her chest and cooing gently. It was not the right time for serious talking. It had to wait.

For now at least.

Days passed by. Days where the interior was discussed. She had asked him for his opinion on the kitchen but other than that she had made each and every other decision on her own and he was fine with it. It was her and Agnes' home, not his.

One day she had approached him at breakfast, just after Sophie left for work. "I wondered if you'd be able to help me with the furniture. I might need a hand or two for that matter."  
__________

It had been some time since he fixed up furniture. People were doing these things for him now but he wanted to keep the criminal persona and the resources he had far, far away from this town. Here he was Raymond. A father who raised his child, not a billionaire.  
____________

He was withdrawn and quieter. She believed they had made progress but it was probably too fast for him. It took her days to find fitting furniture. Red always had an exceptional taste. Really, there was nothing he couldn't do. He was a great father to Benjamin, a wonderful friend to Sophie. She thought she knew what family meant but, again, Red taught her better. He was always up before anyone else, prepared breakfast before he tiptoed to Ben's room to lovingly woke up the boy.

She loved to see the banter between Sophie and him. There was trust and understanding between them, sometimes also different opinions but they always found a compromise. She yearned to have a relationship like that with him.

Someday, maybe it would be.

Watching him doing labor work was different, too. He could handle a gun of course but seeing him in only an undershirt and denim jeans working around in her house while Agnes tried to turn from her back to her tummy felt almost domestic. Just that it wasn't.

He always left to be with his family for dinner. She understood perfectly but part of her wanted him to stay. Agnes definitely did. He wrapped her daughter around his finger already and she understood that, too.

It wasn't difficult to fall for his charm.  
___________

"Finished eating?"

He wasn't hungry. Elizabeth and Agnes moved to their new house. Things were going back to normal. Well, as normal as it could be.

He missed them.

"I guess I'm just tired."

"Liar."

Sometimes he hated how good Sophie could read him. He was tired though. Ben was having a cold and not sleeping much at night. He forgot these things about parenthood over the years.  
___________

Agnes was fussing after he had left. The infant seemed to miss him just as much as she did. She had only seen him an hour ago. For a moment she contemplated to loose a few screws so that she had a reason to call him again.

She was being ridiculous.  
___________

"Go see her!"

"It's past 9. She's probably already in bed."

"The light's still on."

"It can wait."

He saw her eyes roll back in annoyance. He was annoyed with himself, too.  
____________

When Sophie came back from work a few days later, she spied Liz on the street and invited her over for dinner. It was time to move things more forward.  
____________

He wasn't particularly fond of the idea at first but the conversation was pleasant and light, the food delicious and he could finally see her again. It was all foolish since they were basically neighbors but he did want to give her time to adapt.

He noted how happy she looked immediately. Agnes grew up fast and rolled back and forth on Ben's carpet. It felt like yesterday that he held her in his arms for the first time. But it was in another time. It was in the past and it didn't matter.

What interested him was the future.  
_____________

"Liz. Look!"

Her head turned to where Ben pointed excitedly. A fond smile formed on her lips as she saw Agnes crawling towards the table. She lifted her into her arms and peppered her blonde hair with kisses before praising her for yet another milestone.

"Well Lizzie, seems I have to make your house child - resistant."

She couldn't wait to have him over again.  
__________

Agnes crawled like a seal, something he found terribly funny to watch. The llittle girl never left him out of sight but he didn't mind. He patiently explained what he was doing and why. He lifted her when she raised her arms and held her close when she was fussy.

He could get used to this.

He loved Sophie and Benjamin but this is where he wanted to be permanently.

That day she asked him to stay for dinner. She didn't have to ask twice since she was serving leftovers from when she was at his house.

It felt like there never had been a betrayal and pain, and suffering and mourning. They were establishing something new, something that would hopefully last.

"Agnes missed you."

"I missed her, too."

"Raymond?" She looked at him over the rim of her glass.

"Yes, Lizzie?"

"I missed you, too."

"And I missed you."

He nearly wept.

_____________

 

"Thank you for helping... again."

"Always. All you have to do is ask."

He was leaving. It was late and Sophie already in bed. He didn't expect her to reply to that in any way but she did.

"I want you to know that you can come by whenever you like."

"If that is what you want."

Then she kissed him on his cheek.

'Like a burst of sunlight'

She healed him in a way the sea gypsies never could.  
____________

She knew the day would come eventually. He stayed longer than intended and his business couldn't be postponed any longer. They set a play date the day before he left. Ben and Agnes were playing in a sandbox while she and Red enjoyed a conversation.

"I'm sorry for what I did."

She needed him to know.

"I know, Lizzie."

"I hope you can forgive me one day."

She felt his arm encircle her shoulder. He laughed. "Already done."

The weight was lifted from her shoulders and her head fell onto his shoulder. Not because she was exhausted. She felt relaxed and more than this, she felt safe.

She didn't understand what it was that drew her to him but the thought of him leaving made her heart clench.

What if something happened to him?  
________________

They still fought like they used to before. She was impulsive, he was reasonable. She was loud, he was quiet.

"I won't let you accompany me to that meeting."

She had to take care of Agnes and he didn't want her in his criminal life anymore. Lizzie didn't know it yet but she was his safe heaven, her house some sort of paradise to him and he sure as hell wouldn't let anyone ruin this.

"But I could help."

"I have Baz and Dembe with me. I promise to be back as soon as I can."

"What if you are not? What if you get killed?"

He couldn't respond to that. His lifestyle held certain risks, many people wanted him dead but he was working on retiring. That's why he needed to go.

Just as every fight they had it ended with her in his arms, him whispering reassurances into her ear, fingers stroking through soft, auburn hair and his lips lingering on her cheek, her temple, her eyebrows. "Please, be safe, Raymond."

This time he kissed her. A brief contact of their lips that meant the world to them.

He missed her the moment the door closed behind him.  
_________

He returned after two weeks, late at night. She was wide awake in an instant. The painful screams coming from him just couldn't be overheard.

TBC...


End file.
